We have heard or read reports of males raping other
males – rape of boys or male inmates anally raping other co-prisoners or
straight guys getting sexually molested by gay men – though these are not too
common (even if common, not often reported) in Nigeria.
I have often been challenged and criticized by some
males that ‘Walk Against Rape Nigeria’ has been kind of gender-stereotype, as
in, we only take up the fight against rape when it concerns women!
In a way, it is true since we have sparsely talk on
issue as it affects ‘women raping men’ then, need you blame me or my
organization since male-victims don’t come to the fore like the female.
BUT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR WOMEN TO RAPE MEN? CAN SUCH
INCIDENTS REALLY HAPPEN IN NIGERIA?
I never gave these questions a thought to write
about until a male rape-victim approached me after having suffered such an
ordeal in one of our universities.
“Deji Lawal
(not his real name), a student of one of the universities in Lagos, attended a
campus night-party where he was given a drug-laced drink that made him black
out.
When he
regained consciousness, he was shocked to discover that he was tied to the
bedposts with an unknown female student straddling his naked body while other
female students waited to take their turn.
He knew that
he had an erection at that time but didn’t want to have one and didn’t know how
he was still having it.
Still dizzy
from the drink, he felt very weak and didn’t have the strength to confront them
– he lost consciousness again and when he woke in the morning, he found himself
in the front of the female hostel, untied and still naked.
He rushed to
his hostel feeling very humiliated and confused about what had happened. He
kept the shameful experience to himself and sank into a deep depression until I
counselled him.”
Now, having established the fact that ‘a woman can
rape a man,’ the next issue is, ‘how do women rape men?’
From that true story, we can learn that
female-to-male rape happens in a situation wherein the male is rendered weak,
unconscious or unable to resist the sexual victimization.
The easiest way for this to happen is for the woman
to get the guy dead drunk, intoxicated with some mind-altering substance or
knocked-out by a tranquilizer or sleeping pill.
Another common way is for the woman to use emotional
blackmail in coercing the man to have sex with her - emotional blackmail can
take the form of suicidal threats, threats to divulge the guy’s secrets or
threats to ruin his reputation, career or existing relationships.
A third way is to physically threaten the guy at
gun- or knife-point. And lastly, especially for those trained in martial arts,
women could simply use brute strength to subdue the guy and tie him up.
*...to be
continued!
Say “NO” to
Rape and Sexual Abuse – Walk Against Rape Nigeria!
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