I was in my boss’ car while
we drove home with a friend of hers, seated at the front with her. They started
the ladies’ chit-chat when her friend suddenly wore a long face and snapped
out:
“Hmm Becky, you won’t
believe what happened to Junior last week?”
Junior is the five years old
son of my boss’ friend!
My boss was alarmed and
retorted, “What happened to him? Hope no problem sha!”
She breathed down heavily
and answered, “I was giving Junior his bath and made to wash in-between his
butt when he cringed from pain. I was worried and had to part his butt to see
why he was having such pains there. You won’t believe it – I was shocked to see
a reddish mark between his anus! Red mark as if something had bitten him
there.”
My boss was sympathetic and
shrugged, “So sorry for him; maybe it could be diarrhoea. You know I’ve been
warning you on his intake of sweet-sweet things!”
Her friend snapped back,
“Diarrhoea koh, Diarrhoea nii! See Becky, I pressed and pressed him what
happened to him that until he told me that “Uncle Wale” – that banker that
lives upstairs – used to force his finger and ‘thing’ inside his ‘bumbum’ and
then, ask him not to tell anyone while ‘bribing’ him with fifty Naira to also,
stop him from crying over the pains of the intrusion into his ‘bumbum’”
My boss was shocked,
exclaimed and almost hit the bumper of another car!
Well, she went on to say how
they stormed Wale’s flat and after heavy bombardment of threats of public
disgrace and litigation, he confessed to frequently ‘fingering’ Junior’s anus
and ‘only’ once forcing his ‘organ’ into it! The case is still with the
Surulere Police Station.
I was quiet all these while
but my mind drifted to an almost similar incident that occurred in Isolo, Lagos
State, some years’ back.
It was a market square
though some housings where around the market – there was this ‘Iya Dele,’ who
was selling frozen fish and chicken etc. Dele, her baby, should be between five
and six months old or more when this incident happened.
Then, there was this
bachelor, named Muyiwa, that always come to carry Dele (whenever he is crying)
to his room, which was just around the market as well.
In fact, Muyiwa was about
twenty-five years old by then; he was even one of the many customers of Iya
Dele – so, she was ‘free’ and ‘safe” at having him take her son to his room but
one day, she began to wonder at how her baby was always happy whenever Muyiwa
comes for him.
She wanted to know his
secret formulae at ‘pampering; him; so, she sneaked to the house and quietly
walked to the backyard to Muyiwa’s room. Then, she peeped through the window
and was shocked to see what was transpiring in his room.
Instantly, she began shouting
at the top of her voice and ran into the passage to confront Muyiwa. She
started hitting the door until Muyiwa opened it; she pounced on him and dug her
nails into his face while tearing his shirt.
The power of her teeth came
into great use as well as she bit him every here and there of his body – some
tenants that gathered tried to pull her off Muyiwa but they couldn’t until she
left him on her volition and then, began narrating how she saw him forcing his
‘organ’ in and out of her baby’s mouth while the innocent baby was suckling it,
thinking it was his ‘feeding bottle’!
Some OPC members, who had
gathered as well, started beating Muyiwa until he confessed to his bizarre act
and also, shocked everyone when he disclosed that he had ‘ejaculated’ more than
ten times into baby’s mouth!!!!
Now, far away from Junior
and Dele’s predicaments, there are other similar incidents that have happened
and still happening.
It is December – it is that
time of the year again when students begin their holidays and stay at home
while visiting one ‘Uncle’ to the other or one ‘Aunty’ to the other. Sadly to
the ‘informed’ parents/guardians, this is the time most of them become panicky
over the safety of their children/wards owing to the fact that they are more
exposed to dangers – like child rape or sexual abuse – from mates and grownups,
in their compounds or friends’.
Irrefutably, these fears
arise from the high rate of cases of child sexual abuse in Nigeria, however,
such parents should calm down and ‘arm’ themselves and kids with these ‘safety
tips’ on ‘how to protect kids from sexual abuse’ though there is no sure way of
preventing these kids from sexual abuse, but these tips would really lend a
hand:
*** Break the ‘prude shell
(religiousness)’ and talk with your kids about sexuality and sexual abuse in
age-appropriate terms (note: “talk with”, not “talk to” – talk with is to “have
a heart-to-heart discussion with them” while talk to is to “instruct them
without listening to their opinions”).
*** Let it be a ‘without
limit’ kind of talk and discuss openly with them about sexuality as it affects
them - imprint it on them that they are always ‘free’ to talk with you when
they have questions on ‘sexuality’ or other issues.
*** Teach them the ‘real
names’ and ‘coded names’ of their body parts (like most parents call the ‘part’
of their male kids “peepee’’) so that they know how to ask questions and
express concerns about those body parts.
*** Reveal to them that some
parts of their bodies are “very private” and that other people should not
touch, look or play with these “very private” parts unless they (medical
personnel) need to touch them to provide care.
*** Influence them to always
alert you if someone tries to touch those private areas or wants to look at
them or if someone tries to show the child their own private parts, they should
tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.
This is an excerpt from
‘Breaking the Silence’ - there are more useful tips and information on “how to
protect your kids from sexual abuse at school, home or anywhere). It was
written by Esther Ijewere-Kalejaiye with the forward written by Hon. Abike
Dabiri-Erewa, former member of the Federal House of Representatives/Chairman of
House Committee on Diaspora Affairs.
The book has been endorsed
by the Lagos State Government.
For more information on this
book sale, or for information on how to support the C. A. R. E (College
Acquaintance Rape Education) Project by donating copies of this book to
schools, please call any of these numbers: 0806 865 3263, 0805 786 1285, 08102
678 442.
SAY
"NO" TO RAPE AND SEXUAL ABUSE - WALK AGAINST RAPE NIGERIA!
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