Saturday 21 December 2013

Children Raped By Their Own Fathers. tell their Horrible Stories!

The Lagos State Children’s Home at Ipaja Ayobo, like the one at Idi Araba, houses children whose complicated fates had brought them together to live as family.
It was their end-of-year social event; a period of merry-making and lots of singing and dancing.
In the crowd of hyperactive former victims of different forms of abuses in this home, was Susan (not real name). Smiles smoothed away the creases on the face of the fair, good-looking young lady as she was busy dishing out food, washing plates and helping her younger friends and co-residents of the home.
But few will wish upon themselves the unfortunate fate that brought this young lady to the home. She was no longer a child. But leaving the home was not that simple.
Susan was 17 years old in 2011. By that time, she already had two children for her father, Egbuna, a pastor of a church in Igando, Lagos, who is in his 50s. The Enugu State born father is currently awaiting judgment before the Family Court, Ikeja.
Susan, now 19, is one whose story many would hear and cry out the word, ‘abomination!’
She was rescued by the Esther Child Rights Foundation in 2011 after a group of women in the neighbourhood made a report.

Egbuna had nine children from his wife, who died in 2009. But he allegedly started sleeping with her eldest daughter shortly after, and she gave birth to two children.

SUSAN'S STORY
Director of the ECRF, Mrs. Esther Ogwu, with a contingent visited Egbuna’s home under the guise that they wanted spiritual intercession.
“You have come to the right place. Before 24 days, you will come here and give testimony,” Egbuna told the group, and called Susan out to round off the prayer.
Ogwu said, “It was obvious the girl was living under serious subjection. She was almost trembling as she scurried to obey her father.
“We did not make any attempt to confront him the first day. We studied the place and noticed that there was no single sound from any other child within the house. It was as if there was a warning that none of them should make any sound. Neighbours said only one of the children was allowed to venture out to hawk sachet water.
“We came back days later with the police and state government officials to arrest him and he denied fathering the children. He said they were fathered by her daughter’s boyfriend. He was sweating all over as he spoke.”
All the children were transferred to the state government children’s home.
 fast-forward two years. Susan looked radiant at the home. She has changed but the scar is far from being healed. Her current dilemma is what to tell her children when they grow up.
Her two young children were kept inside, out of sight, during the visit to the home. There was no chance to see them.

“The children are really growing up fast. But what do I tell them when they grow up? How can I tell them that my father is their father. I am very confused about that.
I will like to leave this home later but this place is just too good to us. But I am getting older; I will like to go back to my family. I have forgiven my father for what he did.But though  I have forgiven him, I am scarred for life. How do I tell people that I have two children for my father?”
What family to go back to is another major quandary for this young lady, whose journey in life seemed to have been a transcendental punishment.

“None of my father’s or mother’s families has visited us since we were brought here. I don’t know how tomorrow will be but I know God will show the way,” she said.
She had yet to be admitted in school as officials are still considering which class best suits her.
Her children are also still being kept at the home, yet to start school. She is not alone.

Egbuna is still in custody.



BOLA  AND TOLU'S STORY AND HOW THEIR FATHER GAVE THEM SYPHILLIS
The situation that brought these young sisters to the children’s home was far from being a laughing matter.
Bola looked towards the back of the crowd and instantly shot out of the crowd like a lightning bolt; her sister at her heels. She threw her arms around Ogwu, who had just entered the premises. Both Bola and Tolu locked the woman – their rescuer – in a tight embrace. Tears streamed down the face of Bola.

“I did not know you were coming,” the young girl said with a big teary smile.
Bola and Tolu have both spent six months at the home. The woman who rescued them has become someone they love like their own mother.
Bola and Tolu’s journey to the children’s home was one with a lot of pains. For three years, both children had endured an excruciating sexual abuse from their father, Adetayo Adeleke, a 35-year-old commercial bus driver in Egbeda area of Lagos. But they suffered in silence. They dared not tell anyone; their father would kill them.  

One cannot really say what the exact psychological state of these two children are at present because their evaluation in the home could not be revealed by the officials.
Adeleke is now facing charges of incest and child defilement at the Family Court, Ikeja and the two sisters were transported to the children’s home.
With tears in her eyes, their mother, Kemi, came to the court with a toddler she had for her new husband.

In court She revealed a life of hell she was subjected to in Adeleke’s house.
“He beat me regularly, calling me prostitute just to disgrace me. I suffered with my children. We rarely had food to eat. When I could not take it anymore, I had to leave. It was not like I was starving him of sex. I did not know he was raping my children. May God punish that man,” 
In November 2013, during one of the hearings of the case in court, the children were asked to come forward to testify. When they took up the narration of their ordeal, the misty-eyed magistrate could not take it anymore. She had to excuse herself for a moment to wipe her tears in her chambers.

However, months after their rescue, a lot has changed. Bola looked chubby; no longer the haggard looking girl she was when she was rescued.  Asked how she felt about her father at the time, the young girl’s excited face fell like a pack of cards. She looked down at the ground.

 “I know we cannot forget what our father did. This is something we have to live with for the rest of our lives. Here, they tell us to forget the past but how can we forget that our father slept with us?”
“But I want them to release him. I don’t ever want to live with him again. But I have forgiven him. I like it here very much. They should just let him go,” she said.
Bola spoke with a surprising intelligence that was totally in contrast with the beaten and abused child who spoke little when she was rescued.
It was clear a lot had changed.

Will you like to live with your mother as well, she was asked.
  She said, “No o. I don’t want to live with her again. I want to continue to live here because I have a lot of friends here. The other children and our teachers here are very nice.
“When we went to the court last time, my mother did not even come. None of my mother’s family came too. Only our landlord and a woman who is a friend to my mother came.
“My mother has not visited us here since we got here. I don’t even know where she is. In the night, children like me, whose parents have not visited gather to pray that wherever our parents are, God should bring them.”

The younger girl, whose sad eyes still seemed to carry the heavy load of her past ordeal, gave the same answer. She too said she would not want to live with her parents any more.
The home has enrolled Bola and Tolu in schools; the older girl in Junior Secondary School Year One and the younger in Primary Four.
For these two bruised children, nothing could hold them back. Not even the absence of family.
The older girl said she would like to become a lawyer while Tolu said she would like to become a banker.
They only spoke with excitement anytime conversation switched away from their parents.
But when Ogwu spoke of an attempt to contact her mother, Bola rose to her defence immediately.
“Nobody should touch my mother. Don’t do anything to her, please,” she said plaintively.
But she was assured that her mother had not done anything wrong to be arrested.
After Bola and Tolu were rescued in July, they were taken to the hospital for medical checks. it was learnt that their father gave both of them syphilis, a case which had been muted at the time of their rescue. But they were promptly given treatment which got rid of the disease.
A phone number the girls’ mother provided seemed to be out of use, as it had not been going through. Neither does anybody know her address in Oyo State.

It is not an easy road for these children but consistent counselling has been helping them in the home.
 If not for a neighbour who promptly raised the alarm on the children’s plight, one can only imagine the kind of situation they would be in by now
**These men should be castrated, how can you sleep with your own offspring and walk freely and claim you are a MAN....

May God comfort these kids and take help them heal.

This is one of the reasons why the guidebook "Breaking The Silence" is highly recommended to help overcome such sexual situations. 

Click to get your copy and have it delivered to you : http://www.jumia.com.ng/Breaking-The-Silence---Pocket-Book-88656.html


 

2 comments:

tunmi said...

wow. Thank you for posting these. Thank you for bringing these victims' plight to light

Walk Against Rape (W.A.R) Nigeria said...

Thanks Tunmi. we do our best to share these stories just to inspire people , most especially the society.
Wwalk Agaianst Rape Team