Funmi Adegbite (not real names), an HND 2 student
of a Polytechnic in Oyo State, attended a concert in the school’s sport-hall,
which was organized by one of the big telecommunication companies in Nigeria.
Like most students’ gig, the atmosphere became
fired up and most students became ‘high’ – male students began fondling and
roughing up some female students much against their displeasure.
Those that were ‘wise’ quickly left the scene for
their respective hostels or homes BUT the naive ones, like Funmi, chose to stay
back to “I must catch a glimpse of the star performer of the show”, who
happened to be Olamide and was billed to perform by 2 a.m.
But before Funmi knew it, one male student (an ND 1
student – far way her junior in school) touched and grabbed her ‘behind’ while
pushing his ‘body’ to ‘feel’ hers – she turned, pushed and asked him to
“respect yourself”.
He would have nothing to do with “respect” or
“seniority” as he forcefully flung her to the ground and in a moment of
insanity and I-don’t-care-where-we-are, tore her clothes and “used” her in the
crowd much to the annoyance of some female students BUT admiration and hailing
from some male students who even wanted to partake in her or ‘attack’ other
female students.
What happened afterwards is better imagined than
narrated!
This is not the first or last of such
party-gone-wild in schools – others, even worse than the cited, have occurred
but have been as usually, swept under the carpet while the victims continue to
bite their finger nails in regret.
Such attacks are not frequent in schools alone as
they have also occurred in religious gatherings and places – particularly in
campgrounds – point is, ‘rape attack’ is an everywhere ‘thing’!
Since rape occurs in social gathering, how can one
protect herself/himself?
While you can never completely protect yourself
from sexual assault, there are some things you can do to help reduce your risk
of being assaulted in social situations.
·
When you go to a social gathering, go with a
group of friends. Arrive together, check in with each other throughout the
evening, and leave together. Knowing where you are and who is around you may
help you to find a way out of a bad situation.
·
Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe in any
situation, go with your gut. If you see something suspicious, contact law
enforcement immediately.
·
Don't leave your drink unattended while talking,
dancing, using the restroom, or making a phone call. If you’ve left your drink
alone, just get a new one.
·
Don't accept drinks from people you don't know
or trust. If you choose to accept a drink, go with the person to the bar to
order it, watch it being poured, and carry it yourself. At parties, don’t drink
from the punch bowls or other large, common open containers.
·
Watch out for your friends, and vice versa. If a
friend seems out of it, is way too intoxicated for the amount of alcohol
they’ve had, or is acting out of character, get him or her to a safe place
immediately.
·
If you suspect you or a friend has been drugged,
contact law enforcement immediately. Be explicit with doctors so they can give
you the correct tests (you will need a urine test and possibly others).
This is an
excerpt from ‘Breaking the Silence’ -
there are more useful tips and information on “how to protect your kids from
sexual abuse at school, home or anywhere). It was written by Esther
Ijewere-Kalejaiye with the forward written by Hon. Abike Dabiri-Erewa, member
of the Federal House of Representatives and currently, Chairman of House
Committee on Diaspora Affairs.
The book has
been endorsed by the Lagos State Deputy Governor.
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