“Hmm Becky, you won’t believe what happened
to Junior last week?”
Junior is the five years old son of my boss’
friend!
My boss was alarmed and retorted, “What
happened to him? Hope no problem sha!”
She breathed down heavily and answered, “I was
giving Junior his bath and made to wash in-between his butt when he cringed
from pain. I was worried and had to part his butt to see why he was having such
pains there. You won’t believe it – I was shocked to see a reddish mark between
his anus! Red mark as if something had bitten him there.”
My boss was sympathetic and shrugged, “So
sorry for him; maybe it could be diarrhoea. You know I’ve been warning you on
his intake of sweet-sweet things!”
Her friend snapped back, “Diarrhoea koh,
Diarrhoea nii! See Becky, I pressed and pressed him what happened to him that
until he told me that “Uncle Wale” – that banker that lives upstairs – used to
force his finger and ‘thing’ inside his ‘bumbum’ and then, ask him not to tell
anyone while ‘bribing’ him with fifty Naira to also, stop him from crying over the
pains of the intrusion into his ‘bumbum’”
My boss was shocked, exclaimed and almost hit
the bumper of another car!
Well, she went on to say how they stormed
Wale’s flat and after heavy bombardment of threats of public disgrace and
litigation, he confessed to frequently ‘fingering’ Junior’s anus and ‘only’ once forcing his ‘organ’ into
it! The case is still with the Surulere Police Station.
I was quiet all these while but my mind
drifted to an almost similar incident that occurred in Isolo, Lagos State, some
years’ back.
It was a market square though some housings
where around the market – there was this ‘Iya Dele,’ who was selling frozen
fish and chicken etc. Dele, her baby, should be between five and six months old
or more when this incident happened.
Then, there was this bachelor, named
Muyiwa, that always come to carry Dele (whenever he is crying) to his room,
which was just around the market as well.
In fact, Muyiwa was about twenty-five years
old by then; he was even one of the many customers of Iya Dele – so, she was ‘free’
and ‘safe” at having him take her son to his room but one day, she began to
wonder at how her baby was always happy whenever Muyiwa comes for him.
She wanted to know his secret formulae at ‘pampering;
him; so, she sneaked to the house and quietly walked to the backyard to Muyiwa’s
room.
Then, she peeped through the window and was shocked to see what was
transpiring in his room.
Instantly, she began shouting at the top of
her voice and ran into the passage to confront Muyiwa. She started hitting the
door until Muyiwa opened it; she pounced on him and dug her nails into his face
while tearing his shirt.
The power of her teeth came into great use
as well as she bit him every here and there of his body – some tenants that
gathered tried to pull her off Muyiwa but they couldn’t until she left him on
her volition and then, began narrating how she saw him forcing his ‘organ’ in
and out of her baby’s mouth while the innocent baby was suckling it, thinking
it was his ‘feeding bottle’!
Some OPC members, who had gathered as well,
started beating Muyiwa until he confessed to his bizarre act and also, shocked
everyone when he disclosed that he had ‘ejaculated’ more than ten times into baby’s
mouth!!!!
Now, far away from Junior and Dele’s
predicaments, there are other similar incidents that have happened and still
happening.
It is December – it is that time of the
year again when students begin their holidays and stay at home while visiting
one ‘Uncle’ to the other or one ‘Aunty’ to the other. Sadly to the ‘informed’
parents/guardians, this is the time most of them become panicky over the safety
of their children/wards owing to the fact that they are more exposed to dangers
– like child rape or sexual abuse – from mates and grownups, in their compounds
or friends’.
Irrefutably, these fears arise from the
high rate of cases of child sexual abuse in Nigeria, however, such parents
should calm down and ‘arm’ themselves and kids with these ‘safety tips’ on ‘how
to protect kids from sexual abuse’ though there is no sure way of preventing
these kids from sexual abuse, but these tips would really lend a hand.
Break the ‘prude shell (religiousness)’ and
talk with your kids about sexuality and sexual abuse in age-appropriate terms
(note: “talk with”, not “talk to” – talk with is to “have a heart-to-heart
discussion with them” while talk to is to “instruct them without listening to
their opinions”).
Let it be a ‘without limit’ kind of talk
and discuss openly with them about sexuality as it affects them - imprint it on
them that they are always ‘free’ to talk with you when they have questions on
‘sexuality’ or other issues.
Teach them the ‘real names’ and ‘coded
names’ of their body parts (like most parents call the ‘part’ of their male
kids “peepee’’) so that they know how to ask questions and express concerns
about those body parts.
Reveal to them that some parts of their
bodies are “very private” and that other people should not touch, look or play
with these “very private” parts unless they (medical personnel) need to touch
them to provide care.
Influence them to always alert you if
someone tries to touch those private areas or wants to look at them or if
someone tries to show the child their own private parts, they should tell a
trusted adult as soon as possible.
This is an excerpt from ‘Breaking the
Silence’ - there are more useful tips and information on “how to protect your
kids from sexual abuse at school, home or anywhere). It was written by Esther
Ijewere-Kalejaiye with the forward written by Hon. Abike Dabiri-Erewa, former member
of the Federal House of Representatives/Chairman of House Committee on Diaspora
Affairs.
The book has been endorsed by the Lagos
State Government.
For more information on this book sale, or
for information on how to support the C. A. R. E (College Acquaintance Rape
Education) Project by donating copies of
this book to schools, please call any of these numbers: 0806 865 3263,
0805 786 1285, 08102 678 442.
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